I need plastic surgery.

Today, i woke up feeling like I NEED A LIPOSUCTION ON MY FAT THIGHS AND BUTTOCKS.



Gosh, that's so depressing.



Worst of all, i think i really Really REALLY need a SILICONE IMPLANT.








Plus, i think i also need a laserpeel, a collagen boost and a cosmetic surgery on my eyes to remove all the fine lines. It is all i needed to stay young and pretty at this time. The list will definitely get longer next month.

It might include another operation for reshaping my face. My face is too wide to my liking. Although my momma said i have an apple-shaped face which is cute, i think i have a FAT Big face.

But i'm considered lucky. At least my mum don't tell me i have 'water retention', edema or something else. lol.

I AM OLD. AND I AM GETTING OLDER.

Today is the day i need to talk about myself.

I have HUGE THIGHS.

In fact, they are so huge you will have nightmares if you see them.

My momma once said : How come you are so slim on the top but your legs look like tree trunks??
When i wear skirt, tight fitting skirt, my body will look like a bottle neck.

Ya, A BOTTLE NECK.




It doesn't look so bad??

Okay, i will give you a better picture.

If you look at the whole figure, it portrays a VASE.
















Add a bit of details. Whoala~!!!


May i now presents you. FIGURE OF THE CENTURY.













There. That explains all.

Do you understand my dilemma now??

If you still don't, go and ask your mum to give you a few slap. Maybe with the stars above your head, you can see better. ;-D

Imagine me with a pairs of pants.

Be a bit creative. Orange pants AND a green top.

So what do you get??










You get a CARROT~!!!



If i wear a purple pants???










You get BRINJAL MANNY. ( i look like a junk food wrapping. Chips wrapping to be precise )


Correction. It's QUEEN BRINJAL MANNY.

If i wear a knee length skirt, it usually ended up like an umbrella.

Okay, this time, you imagine yourself. ^_^



I have a quote today.

QUOTE : NOT THAT YOU DIDN'T TRY. IT'S JUST THAT YOU DIDN'T TRY HARD ENOUGH.

Geylang

I had been so ever eager to have a look at Geylang and see how it's like. Even it's name indicate what it is already.

Chicken Farm. Eh...maybe CHICKS Farm.

I heard so many stories from friends about how Geylang looks like with the streets and rows of houses, how they operate and how beautiful some of the ladies are.....

Must be heaven for guys... Hell for housewives. lol


During my last trip to JB, i managed to get down to Singapore for the weekend.

It was so coincidental that one of my friend stays in an area near Geylang so we would definitely pass-by the place if we were to send him home. :-D

So i got my first visit to Geylang.

Wasn't much of what i imagined. It was totally different.

A big wide main road with shop lots on the left and right side. Everywhere were cars and people.



The place was filled with people. Lots and LOTS of people. So many people that i was kinda confused by the stories i heard. All the kopitiam were packed. Families. Group of youngsters. People in nice, smart suits.

WAH... i was thinking to myself: Singapore's mental acceptance of hookers are definitely different than Malaysia. The parents bring their kids to geylang for some education purposes? To watch the ladies on the streets while they are at work? Student also so casual about this stuff??

And where are the small streets and rows of houses, brothels that i heard??



....




Then it crossed my mind that Geylang is also famous for its eateries.

So all the things made sense liaw.. lol.


The streets and rows of houses are actually in between in the shoplots on one side of the road. Not really as narrow as i thought it might be. In the movies, we always see small, dirty, dark alleys with women standing by the entrance of the house, waving for the men passing by to go in. I guess i really watched too much movies. ;-)



My exploration was not fruitful that night. Alleys were empty. Doors were closed. Nobody was on the streets.

Why??

Because the police cars were in the area looking out for law offenders. All the illegal prostitues had gone back into the house to hide. Those who were legal actually do not need to stay on the street to hunt for men because men go to them automatically.

You see, legal prostitutes have to go through medical check-up to make sure they are fit and save to do 'business'. As to how often they do the medical check-up, i'm not sure.

Bear in mind that HIV takes some time to actually show on the test. A few weeks??

What if there is a lady who passed the test because the virus has yet to be detected in her system??

Well, i'm sure such a case has not happen before. Or maybe my information is wrong. Because if it did, the singaporean government would have banned prostitution in their country. Now, what will the prostitues do to earn a living then? I know. Sweep the streets??? lol... They make good house maid too, you know?

When i was visiting the place. I found a place fits for a QUEEN.



Her Majesty Karaoke and Pub. So my people certainly understands my needs. ;-D


Again, on a different topic, i was chatting with my friends today. Uncle was sick for the last 3 weeks: ( some of the conversation deleted coz it's just too loOoong )

Her Majesty :
did u think about Boy??
Her Majesty :
Boy misses you~

Uncle says:
i scared to go out sometimes coz i scared might have attack or sth
Uncle says:
when it hits its bad i cant breath and stuff

Boy says:
ngai teeee...

Uncle says:
so stay home watch tv

Her Majesty :
why u make it sound like heart attack or something.

Friend says:
i think he's thinking bout jesus now..

Friend says:
not thinking bout me, Her majesty

Her Majesty :
thinking about who le?

Friend says:
Friend says:
i think he's thinking bout jesus now..

Uncle says:
wat jesus oh
Uncle says:
ahaa

Her Majesty :
LORD PLEASE HELP ME. TAKE AWAY THIS EVIL DISEASE THAT PLAGUE ME FOR THE PAST MONTH.

Uncle says:
gaaha

Boy says:
u know.. the guy with long hair, long beard, and shepherds plenty of sheeps

Her Majesty :
siapa itu??

Boy says:
and he loves white. ... jesus rocks...

Her Majesty ::
how come suddenly got sheep liaw?

Uncle says:
since when got sheep 1
Uncle says:
sessssat betul

Her Majesty :
u talking about SCHOOL OF ROCK har?

Boy says:
why is it so difficult for u guys to associate jesus with sheeps??

Her Majesty :
now what has jesus got to do with sheep?


I couldn't stop laughing. So you know or not??



Boy says:
seems like i'm de most 'alim' one..
Boy says:
jesus as the shepherd of de sheep... shepherd of human spirits.. those are common lines in de bible..
Boy says:
i have a bible at home u know.. LOL

Uncle says:
pft
Uncle says:
who doesnt have a bible at home

Her Majesty :
i don't

Uncle says:
hahaha

Boy says:
pffft.

Uncle says:
well,which CHRISTIAN dont have bible at home
Uncle says:
if u got alquran then diff la..

Her majesty:
My house got books for TOTO 4D, that counts or not??

Uncle says:
if u pray to it everyday maybe..


^_^

Just as predicted : A Boring Holiday

Well, nothing out of ordinary happened for this Raya Holiday. :-(

Nobody sent me their Rendang for a review. I didn't get to eat any layer cake. What a sad sad thing.....
It's still not too late you know? So send me your delicacies. I'm still waiting.

If it wasn't for my cousin's wedding which fell on Tuesday (first day of holiday), i would have been bored to death by the time it reached 8pm that nite.

Tuesday morning :
My aunt told us to be at her house around 8am something that day for her daughter's traditional chinese matrimony ( the part where the couple have to serve tea to all the elderly at a specific time and receive ang pow. Well, it's not that bad, still can receive ang pow for serving tea. But sadly speaking, it's gonna be their last time to EVER receive any ang pows again. Poor couple. I still can receive ang pow. haha... ). I went there after 10 coz i didn't plan to sit there for 2hrs looking like an idiot by myself. It's a great timing. I got there just in time for everything. The mee-sua. The tea-serving ceremony. ( My cousin didn't serve tea. They 'kow-tow 3 times' instead, which i feel like kinda bad luck for the elders because it looked like they were dead and the couple were 'praying' or paying respect to them. ) Not many relatives were there. I could say my sister's wedding matrimony was merrier and more lively.

Tuesday Afternoon :
Went out for lunch with one of my good friend who's back from Singapore for a short holiday. Chatted for a while and tried to figure out both of our future family career but in vain. We are hopeless. It is during these times that i wish i'm a rich-spoiled-brat princess. Haha....or maybe a freeloader can do already.

Tuesday Evening :
Prepared myself for the wedding dinner and off my family went. The arrangement for the tables was brilliant. Thanks to my super clever younger cousin. She arranged all kids to sit together at one table. ( I'm still a kid, you know?) Age ranging from 17 to 2..... erm .... eh 24 + 17months old. :-D
We had fun sitting together. I had fun sitting together. It's been so long since us, the younger cousins, sat together and chatted like that. Even eating was so unformal and comfortable. We didn't have to wait for the elders to get their food first because there simply wasn't any old people on our table and we could eat like little children, using hands, stuffing chunks of food into our mouth and giggling at the same time. ( i SWEAR TO GOD i didn't do that. ;-D ) Later then, I joined my friends for few drinks.

Not bad for the first day.

Wednesday Morning :
Ate breakfast, then i ate a second round of breakfast again, then...... i forgot what i did. It's either sleeping or watching tv. Oh, i went to buy a flourescent lamp. Then i watched vcd. Hong kong series.

Wednesday Afternoon :
Still Hong kong series. Lunch at nagaliar. We tried to have the festive feeling of the Hari Raya by having some malay food but all the kopitiam managed by Malays were all closed for the season so we went to a chinese managed kopitiam to eat nasi lemak. I felt kinda stupid for that. haha..... Then, continue with hong kong series again until i feel asleep.

Wednesday Evening :
Watch tv until 10.30pm and went to bed.



With my experience, i can say life without tv is meaningless. Without AXN, i still can survive. There was once the television at my house brokedown and we got a new set only after one week. During that week, everyone in the house was lifeless.

My brothers walked around the house aimlessly, with no direction in their life. Laid on the sofa for 5 minutes, got up, walked up to their bed and laid down for 5minutes and came down again. Routinely repeat the same thing for the whole day.

My momma sat in the living room, looking at the white color painted walls of the house and imagined a tv on the wall. When she's tired of doing that, she would lie on the sofa, pretending she's tired from watching tv and tried to get a nap.

Me, I laid on the bed, looking up to the ceiling and tried to daydream myself to wonderland until i got the headache for laying down too long. Spend the rest of the day in dizziness, walked around the house for 5 minutes, got back into the house and sat on the couch in the living room looking out from the window.



You see??


TELEVISION IS THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS MY FAMILY ALIVE~!!!! O_o



We really don't know what we can do without it. :-D


LOL


On a different tone, while i was chatting with my friend just now, he complained we cannot disclose information of a friend to another friend. ( SX18 : Not suitable for children under 18months )

Friend : She came and slap all those information in my face. Asked me if it's true or not?
Friend : I was like '???????'.....
Her Majesty : I'm sure she ask xxx de lar.
Friend : So??? If she ask xxx to go long piak...
Her Majesty : From a female species's point of view, i can be sure she asked xxx...
Her Majesty : Meaning SHE LOVES YOU... muahaha~!!!!
Friend : xxx can just say don know ma..
Friend : why xxx preferred to go to tht level of detail..
Her Majesty : coz they are really close

Friend : A close to B,
B close to C.
tht does NOT mean tht A is close to C
Her Majesty : haha..... are you talking maths to me??
Friend : how can some ppl got all these equation mixed up

Her Majesty :


Her Majesty : I'm so good at this. Wuahah~!!!
Friend : looks like a blue and red coloured pussy
Her Majesty : -_-" *fainted*
Friend : with a pinkish clit
Friend : hahahhha

Too bored

Raya holiday tomorrow.

Now what am i gonna do with the 2 days holiday, considering i spend my weekend liddat:

Saturday Morning :
Breakfast with bf then went home watch tv.
Saturday afternoon :
Watch Tv, make prawn saucer (deep fried flour with prawn) as tea-time snack, which is a total failure because it was rock-hard. I had a sore jaw after chewing only 2 pieces. Paiseh. Gotta learn more from mum... i pitied my brothers who had to finish them. lol....
Saturday Evening :
Finally managed to get my bf went out at 10pm when i complained i was starving. Met up the whole bunch of those 'hin' ppl at auntie killer's kopitiam. Suddenly, everyone has snooker fever so off we went for ONE round of pool. Not me lar, of course. If i play pool, you guys must stay AT LEAST 100M away from me or else you are gonna eat balls. haha.....

Sunday Morning :
Ate breakfast. Loiter at my bf's office until almost 12noon.
Sunday Afternoon :
Watch tv straight for 5hrs til 5pm. Then sort my photos in the pc until 6pm.
Sunday Evening :
Went out to buy air-freshener for my fair lady which took only about half an hour. When over to a lamp chop's house for a brief chat. (ya, i know i can talk to lamb chop. It's a talented gift i have here. :-D ). At about 9.30pm, went to bed.

There, you see now??

How can i SURVIVE LIKE THAT????

It's crazy~!!!

I would like to have some rendang for this coming holiday. Any offer for a review of their rendang?? I love Kek Lapis too. I promised i won't give the cons *fingers' crossed* like what kenny did. And you DO want it COMMERCIALISED, don't you??



My all time favourite. Yum yum~~...

(I never like to eat cake. Only layer cake will change my mind.) ;-)

Parking Summons

I almost forgot to post this entry.

Last week, i could say i wasn't in my best of moods. Blame it to the weather. It was a rainy day.

On rainy days, i have to park my car infront of the office so i don't get myself soaked. These parking lots are governised, meaning to say, we have to put parking coupons for duration of the lot that we occupied. On normal days, i will drive to the free parking zone further behind the office, which is a bit of distance away and walk to the office.

I realised my bf have used up my coupons when he drove my car last time i have used up my coupons and there is only ONE left.

Nevermind, i would drive my car back to the free parking zone before 8am, when the rain stop later.

So i called my bf, planning to ask him to wait for me at the free zone where i will drive over and park the car, then he can send me back since he was on his way to work also. Clever me.... :-D

But he overslept. Still slumbering at home comfortably on his bed. :-(

Damn with it. I'll have to survive with one coupon first.

Out of nowhere, my superior ask me to finish off some shit he leftover sometime ago. ):-(

The rain haven't stopped yet and my coupon had EXPIRED. Kanina...to hell with the coupons lar.

It's still raining, and i didn't want to go all the way to buy a stupid parking coupon. They could summon all they want today. I was not planning to buy any coupons today. NOT EVEN IF THE RAIN STOPPED. Damn pissed.

Smoke was coming out from the top of my head. Fire was flaring out of my nostrils. My pupils was turning into red colour. I turned into a red devil~.. Grr......


In the end, this is what i got.

Can you guess i got how many of them??



11 parking fine. RM 1 each.



The lady only started to write down the summons after 2pm.



You notice something??

They came in running numbers.....



2 different running numbers.





I guess the lady must be damn tired of writing my fine so she asked her partner to write instead.

So i only got $11 parking fine.

Somehow, the government impose that whoever do not display any parking coupon shall be fine $10 for the day provided the car stay in the same parking lot throughout the day.
However, if you display 1 coupon (like me), they will issue a fine to you after each consequent expired period.

If i DO NOT DISPLAY ANY COUPON, i will only be fined $10 a day, instead of the $11+$0.42 (coupon) = $11.42.

Point : People who do not even bother to put a parking coupon will get lesser fine than those who do.

Lessen learnt : Do not bother to put ANY PARKING COUPON AT ALL if you only have one left for the day. (applies only to the blue parking zone)

The government is so smart.

I will miss you.

When you know someone is leaving for good, near or far, it brings an acheness in the heart.
A sour feeling that spreads itself from the heart til it reaches the mouth and stay there for the rest of the day. Emptiness...

Only time can take it away.

As time passed, we are getting closer. Spending more quality drinking time together.

It came as a shock when suddenly things are gonna change. But i saw something was coming, shown on the face of your utmost loved one after your kl trip. He looked utterly sad and was totally unable to tilt the corners his mouth upward for even a slightest smile that night.

Everyone is gonna miss you greatly, Jnee.

I hope the best for you. For better or worst, you are gonna be the lifetime friend that i'm gonna cherish.

Honestly, you are the sunshine among the dull crowd. You bring happiness to people around you.

Maybe it be your outspoken character or the girl in you who drink like there's no liquor tomorrow, everyone loves you.

You bring people together.

I wonder what will happen after you left. Will the group still come out and drink like last time?? Neh, I doubt.

Nevertheless, thank you for all the happy moments you brought to me. (and the dancing ideas too) ^_^

As near as KL is, there is still a distance in between. Emails, phonecalls cannot replace seeing you in real person, listening to your silly jokes and cute facial expression.

As time pass, i hope things will still be the same. We are still gonna stay so 'hin'.

Hope to see you soon, baby.


I hope you don't mind the picture.

Imagination Freedom

Before i write anything, read this first.


Click for larger image


Click for larger image

I don't understand any of this. Do you?

Assume this is my diary, i think i can express my feelings anyway i want, rite?
:-( :-) :-> ;-Þ

Think twice before you answer that because there are idiots out there who might not agree.

The above newspaper article can prove evidence. (Taken when i was in JB)

Malas in Malay Language means LAZY. Morons.

Quote "because any 17-year old girl would surely be unhappy that yet another rich Datuk has been taken off the market."

Who in the world would be sad over an OLD Datuk (40+ years old?) being taken off the market, especially from a 17 years old girl? His face is so wrinkled, freckled and old that it's like she is kissing her father when she kisses with him. It disgusts me to think about it.

I don't think any girl can bear the nausea unless the guy is RICH. You know what i mean.

By the time she reach 22, there might be even more YOUNGER and RICHER datuks. So what is worth so unhappy about?

The LAZY leader sure have some IQ level that shock the nation. :-D

P.S.: How could such thing happen in our country? I thought policemen are suppose to prevent crime and protect the innocent. Did the poor 17years old girl conduct any crime? Since when the law state that we cannot use only one emoticon in our writings?

Karma. Things come around.

I realise that the world really has karma.

People get back things they did to others and GOD always punish these people for what they did. Be it happen after 10 years or 20 years, these sinful people WILL GET WHAT THEY DESERVE. Wuahahaha....

I'm not a god believer myself but i do know and understand one thing.

One should not do onto others what one do not wish to happen upon oneself.

It sounds something like that, i think. Anyway, it is what i believe and how i treat people.

Frank as i might be, i'm just speaking my mind. I always tell people what i have in my mind. My TRUTHFUL HONEST opinions. It might not sound nice to people who don't accept what i said. But bear it in mind that, what i said is what i think best for me or for the people that i'm speaking to.

TRUTH always HURTS. It does because people are just so ignorant of the things that happen around them and one only realise it after another person came along and tell one about it. But instead of absording what the friends spilled out from their hearts, sometimes, these bloody stupid idiots rejected all the truth, start living in denial and tell everyone that YOU are a arrogant, bitchy,deceiveful person because you like to hurt people's feeling.

You can come and ask me opinions about something and i can swear that i will give you the same answers after 5 years. No, i don't have good memories. In fact, I don't remember anything i said once they are out of my mouth. I don't need to. Because if things that you say come from the bottom of your heart, you will always say the same thing even after 5years. Honest people like me don't need good memories. Only liars do.

I listen to what people say to me. I ask when i need opinions and when i do, i take in everything. 100% of it. Honest feedbacks. I talk when i need someone to share my feelings. The world sometimes, is a bit lonely if you live by yourself. Everyone of us has a little world of our own that we keep in our heart. It will be a present from god if you have ONE good friend beside you. A friendship that bonds so ever closely. I believe one such friendship is enough to last you a lifetime. I have found such a friend. :-)

I once had a close friend who i shared all my thoughts. I cherished our friendship. I never did anything to hurt him. I admit my honest words sounded very harsh to him and sometimes, he couldn't take it. He backstabbed me infront of my ex after we broke up. I am not a bad person myself, i can say. Because if i am, my ex wouldn't have told me the whole story that the friend approached him and backstabbed me. My ex warned this friend is not a good person. (I guess this is Karma. So much for the backstabbing he did, in the end, my ex know i'm the good person and he's the jerk.) I was devastated then. I had lost a 10 years friendship. But it woke me up.

Friends always help each others out. When I need favours, I turn to those I think I can trust. I ask favours from them because i thought these people are my friends and they will help me when i needed help. At least i treat them as MY FRIENDS. Asking favour is not an easy thing. I feel that i am scrapping away my dignity everytime i ask for one. Even if my friends promised to help but they didn't, i never get pissed over it. I say to myself, they just promised. It is not their responsibility. Decision to help or not, lies on their hands.

Of course I don’t expect a 'Yes' everytime I need help. Sometimes, friends might have situations, circumstances, and they will say 'No'. I understand. That is UNDERSTANDING. Nothing is granted. Infact, I appreciate friends who say an honest 'No' instead of a staged-drama-pullout 'Yes'. Let's call these bloody idiotic people JACKASS.

These JACKASS might even verbally offer more help of what u asked from the favour. Not only they didn't help, they backstab you by making stories and tell it to everyone who knows you as if it's a joke. Sorry to tell you, I don't buy this kind of stories. Talk all you want about it. I don't get hurt by those insults you make infront of my friends. I don't cry or feel hurt by something that you created to hurt me or my reputation. I am what i am and people see that. Because of that, people come to me and tell me what they hear. My oh my.... so i heard.

In the end, everyone will find out that JACKASS is the indeed the real jerk. haha... I am so HAPPY :-D

Honestly, i always think that human is good in nature. People will not hurt me unless i hurt them first so i NEVER GOSSIP about other people (unless they offended me really bad, still, i don't create stories. I cursed them. Wuahaha). I dare to say i never talk bad things about people just to ruin their reputation nor make up some stories and spread it like it's on CNN or something (what's the point of doing all this?). But i think this isn't how the world function today. I'm too naive.

Oh ya, the thing about Karma. It goes and comes around. Everything we do will come back to us one day.

If you need more information on Gossip's Theory and how it works. Click here.

For my so-called 'friends', i pity you people because for all the things you do, in the end, you will rot to death in loneliness. Needless to say, i did nothing so i will still go to heaven with all my close friends. Wuahaha......

P.S: I had a very busy weekend. My sister's wedding banquet in miri is finally over. The entire family is exhausted. So this coming weekend is the kuching wedding banquet. wow....